“If you don’t own a boat or a third home, you’re basically Antifa.” June 25, 2025 – Washington, D.C. In a bold new political doctrine unveiled on Truth Social and several Walmart parking lots nationwide, MAGA loyalists have officially declared that helping poor people is now “an act of treason.” “Enough is enough,” said Chad […]
Washington, D.C. — In a press briefing that stunned reporters, President Donald J. Trump announced his latest plan to “Make America Healthy Again”: the Trump Diet™, a national wellness strategy based on sky-high food and gas prices. “You want to lose weight? You stop eating so much. You stop driving everywhere. You walk, you sweat, […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what critics are calling “a bold theological pivot,” House Republicans are celebrating the passage of the Big Beautiful Bill, which slashes funding for healthcare and food assistance programs, by claiming that “Jesus would’ve totally approved.” The bill, now heading to the Senate, includes sweeping cuts to Medicaid, SNAP benefits, and disability […]
By OX-NEWS StaffPublished: June 2, 2025 WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald J. Trump assured the country over the weekend that gas prices are “not high at all” and that anyone who says otherwise is “just bad at budgeting or brainwashed.” While most Americans met the claim with confusion—and receipts—Trump’s core MAGA base accepted it instantly […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — June 1, 2025In a controversial and widely criticized move, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. suggested in a televised press conference Tuesday that Americans should “consider drinking small amounts of rubbing alcohol daily” as a substitute for receiving seasonal flu and COVID-19 vaccines. The bizarre recommendation came as part […]
“Free Plane = Frugal President”
By Totally-Not-C-SPAN News Service, June 1 2025 WASHINGTON, D.C. — After weeks of alarm over a gargantuan bill said to “decapitate” Medicaid and SNAP, Congressional leaders today insisted that the measure merely gives those programs a chic new haircut—removing every strand labeled “DEI.” In an 1,842-page manager’s amendment hastily stapled to the “One Big Beautiful […]
In times of hardship, conservatives find comfort in culture war victories.
White House cites “historic bunker congestion”; Attorney General Pam Bondi vows to sue skeptics
